Four Ways to Put Love into the World Right Now

I have a goal. It is simple. It’s one I’ve lived my whole life by — or at least try to. It’s one my friends and exes have constantly remarked on with some amount astonishment or approval. I don’t necessarily wear it as a badge of honor, since self-praise is crude. But I will tell you this secret, this one time —

And since I want to speak especially to women just now. I would edit that to say also: Find something you love in every woman you meet . . . Even the anti-feminist . . . Even the *itch . . .

What’s more, here’s how.

1. Take a moment to really see the person. Since people are innately selfish and self-concerned, it’s not always easy to pause to really see the other person. We approach connections to make an impression — fair enough — first impressions last. But impressions are like dreams, we don’t remember the specifics, we remember the emotions and especially the bad ones. And since we are all walking around trying to manage our impressions on other people, we almost go through life’s encounters as perpetual critics. And now we have social media and that has turned us all into cynics. And a part of the cure is to really see the other person.

When you meet someone, as you say hello, make eye contact, and actively look for something beautiful. A strong nose, a confident stance, a compassionate tone of voice, a beautiful smile. Keen style. Poise. Killer shoes, nice dress. Beautiful nails. In other words, look for something beautiful in others. Then say it.

2. Practice compassion over competition. This one is hard because this world is competitive. We are trained and socialized to think, or at least feel, that if they win, then I lose. We compete for jobs, opportunities, partners and money, and that means every thing about us must be better. Better grades, better cars, better houses, better boyfriends. And other people’s “better” can easily make us bitter. To overcome this we have to first be brutally honest — with ourselves — and extremely self-aware and second we must be compassionate.

To break it down. First, I’ve stopped excusing my prick I once felt when observing others lives. I name it. I say [insert my name] — “that which you feel…

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