Why young women should be more concerned about their inner beauty rather than their outer

Written By: Joseph Provine Jr.

Imagine putting in countless hours a week into a certain image or appearance, with the intentions of trying to earn the approval of a society who pressures you into an ideology. An ideology that says you must look a certain way to be considered valuable, only to be approached or perceived in a disrespectful, negative, and uncomfortable way. Unfortunately, this “imagination” is a reality that many millennial and even some post-millennial women face.

The truth about this situation is that through the recent emergence of social networking, current hip-hop/rap music, and peer pressure, (most of which is caused by influential celebrities), has allowed young women to become, in my opinion, extremely self-cautious of their outward appearance. Even to the point of going to the extremes of enhancing their looks with unnatural products such as body implants. In this article, I will discuss the how society pressures younger women into thinking that they must maintain a certain look to be desired, how most young women respond to this, how most young men respond to this, the dangers in their responses, and why both men and women should not give in to the pressure that society puts on them to behave in such way.

Social Media, Rap Music, R&B Music, Television shows, Celebrities, the list goes on and on. These things mentioned are all contributors as to what shapes the mentality that most young adults have of what an ideal women is supposed to be. Of course, some portray the ideal women as being a good housewife who cooks, takes care of the kids, and is supportive. And to be honest, I would have to say this is a good portrayal of what an ideal women should be. However, the problem with this is that this portrayal of a women is NOT what is emphasized in the main influencers in the lives of many young adults which I listed above. Instead, you see the portrayal of an ideal women being a curvy, extremely attractive, stuck-up, and even sometimes promiscuous person who is supposed to reject every man who isn’t qualified due to looks or being at a lower financial status.

Just take a listen to any modern day rap song as evidence. In a hit song by rapper, T-Wayne named Nasty, he says, “Ion want her if that (a-word) don’t sit like a horse.” As well as on social media, where you can see a lot of young women taking pictures of them posing provocatively. Consequently, these women who post such pictures are more likely to have more followers and gain more attention than women who stray from posting such pictures. As if this weren’t enough, you have celebrity role models, who most young girls idolize and young men lust after, willingly showing themselves as sex symbols causing young women to believe that in order for them to be desired, they as well must have some sort of sex appeal to them. Whether it be mild or blatant.

In addition, I’ve realize that through these influencers, it causes a majority of young men to only look at women as something that they need to have for a limited amount of time, affecting how they communicate with them. For example, when I was in high-school, one of the young men in my class was interested in a particular young lady in the class. This particular young lady was a well known athlete who fit the mold of the ideal women that the media emphasizes mentioned earlier. Due to his strong interest, it led him to always talk and flirt with her and she in return, being the “ideal women”, would ignore him and show disinterest. In frustration, the young man in my class eventually revealed to her publicly that he had no real intentions to be with her but simply just wanting to sleep with her.

I’m sure that any woman who is seen as physically attractive to another man has experienced this kind of attention at some point in life. And while some women may not enjoy it from certain men, others might depending on the man. Realistically, the ideology that women have to maintain a certain type of image to be desired by other men, that same concept goes for men as well. Except in our case, the value is thought to be found in our bank accounts and materialistic possessions.

I believe that the high demand that is placed on younger women to be extremely physically attractive by society, in return, births another high demand on young men to possess expensive items (such as luxury cars, homes, and designer clothes) in addition to having large amounts of money. As a result, this creates a problem for both young men and women being that they both begin see each other for something that never even defined them in the first place. Most young adults are starting to see each other for what they are from the outside instead of the inside which is where true beauty lies. As a result, when young adults begin to engage in relationships, the foundation of most of their relationships depend on what the other person can do for them physically instead of what they can do emotionally, spiritually, and mentally which are all life long qualities.

This, I believe, is the cause for why young adult’s, teenager’s, and some young married couple’s relationships often times end in a unhealthy separation after relatively short periods of time. Which can often times end up hurting the women more than the man because of the pressure from society and being overwhelmed by it making them feel as if the cause of the break up was a result of them NOT BEING THE IDEAL WOMAN.

The truth is that beauty or value is not defined by how good looking or curvy a woman is. The value of a man is not found in his bank account. But rather in their character, morals, values, perception, confidence, personality, integrity, and overall intentions to name a few. All of which are found internally and not externally and all of which will last a life time. In second Corinthians 4:18, it says,”

Obviously, you can’t physically see someone’s morals or values but as the scripture says, we are to focus on it. Focus on it because that is eternal. And when you build a relationship that is founded on the things that are unseen, the characteristics/internal qualities of a person, you can count on having a meaningful long-term relationship. However, when you expect to build your relationship on how good you look or how rich you are, you can expect it not to withstand the test of time.

So ladies, please know that your true value, worth, and beauty is not found in how thick or curvy you are, or how long your hair is, or how good your make-up looks. Next time you think of going above and beyond just to meet the extreme standards that society has, think about how much you’ve done to improve your internal qualities. I’m not saying to look like a complete diaster, but if what you did for yourself physically outweighs what you have done for yourself internally, then save that energy for the real attractiveness that you have on the inside. And if you think that this will limit the attention that you get from other men, then good! Good because the same men who would’ve approached you with the only intentions to sleep with you (like in the example of the guy and girl in my class above) are now eliminated so you can pursue the kind of healthy relationship you deserve. Trust me, God has the perfect one for you if you just trust him!

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