Insights To The Other Woman From A Former One

INFIDELITY, ADVICE

Take a moment to consider what I’ve learned about good men.

Being the other woman was one of the most exhilarating and painful experiences of my life. If you’re in the midst of one, you may feel the same. It’s a wild and crazy roller coaster ride of emotions.

When you’re together, you’re up. When you’re apart or don’t hear from him, you’re down.

Affairs can make us feel alive. They shake up our emotions. They can feel so right. Yet I know for me, the magnetic energy and aliveness of the affair caused me to act with my heart and not my rational mind. I was drawn into the passion of what my heart and body were feeling.

I tuned out my rational mind.

The one thing my rational mind did get through to me was that my marriage had to end. It was a hot, unrepairable mess. There was so much wrong that could never be made right again.

But my affair partner didn’t feel the same way. Even though he was unhappy, he had no intention of leaving. I was baffled by how differently we saw things. I could see why I was calling my marriage quits, but I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t.

So I started googling for answers.

In a nutshell, Alison says men are wired to do three things — protect, provide, and procreate.

The first person they’re wired to protect is themselves. This involves protecting not only their bodies but their time, energy, and resources.

This protection factor is why it often takes a long time for a man to commit to someone because when he does, it will affect how he’s able to protect his time, energy, and resources.

To commit, he’ll need to put the person on the “worth-it” scale. Is this person worth his time, energy, and resources?

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